A Giant in Disguise

It’s been a whole eight days. It occurs to me that my suspicion is already confirmed: as much as I want to dedicate myself to writing an award winning blog that will forever document the medical school experience, it is probably my inability to do it that more clearly reflects reality. Humble pie hath been served in abundance, friends, and I’m not talking a la mode. After eight days I could write this post about the fascinating case studies we’ve done—by far my favorite part of academics. I could describe the diverse and enormously talented class I find myself in (seriously, where do they find such dynamic people??). I could talk about my trepidation about my metamorphosis that they say will only take four years until I’m qualified to actually be Dr. Me. But I think that’s been done enough. Instead I want to talk Biochemistry. Well, actually about a biochemist. We had our first lecture on metabolic pathways today, a subject I have been dreading since I got serious about medical school. The lecture wasn’t too bad, truth be told, and I guess I studied enough in those painful preparatory classes that my head isn’t exploding every time she throws out pyruvate dehydrogenase like most people talk about reality TV stars. The take home, though, was Dr. C; standing in front of our lecture hall of 120+ eager first year (ok, second week) medical students is a barely five foot tall, petite woman in black rimmed glasses that nearly consume her face. She is very clearly older than my grandmother, and I’m in my thirties. Her voice is cracked and her skin shows the crevices and ripples of a long life spent teaching and exploring science. As she elucidates the finer points of how the various pathways are intertwined and regulated, I can’t help think of how her life and mine are interlinked. When she was making career choices decades ago, surely she must have felt pressure to conform to normative roles for women. Did people tell her to focus on her family and leave a career to others? Because she made the choice to pursue Biochemistry, decades later her pathway has influenced countless others and “upregulated” the processes that will one day produce doctors. Thanks, Dr. C. The saying goes that we all stand on the shoulders of giants. My giants have frequently been brilliant octogenarian ladies.

Step One

As I stand upon the precipice of a huge life change, I think to myself, "Surely everyone who loves me wants to know every excruciating detail of this adventure, right?" A BLOG! Yes! Because if there's one thing medical students have, it's lots of time to craft witty, concise postings about the minutia of student life. But alas, I am going there anyway. Because it might be one small thing I can do to tether myself to my former life, at least the parts I am unwilling to give up. If I dedicate myself to sharing my journey, maybe you'll come along for some of the ride. Maybe you'll stick with me and ask questions about school and life in Florida, and when I come up for air we can chat. Maybe when I'm done I'll look around and won't be alone, albeit sporting a long blinding white coat neatly accessorized with a purple stethoscope (side story later). Maybe I will have succeeded in filling the holes I felt in my universe before this journey began without digging painful new ones in the shape of friends and family relationships. And so it begins. In four short days I'll get into my overstuffed van with two very important girls in my life, one a furry eleven year old who is effusive with licks and always willing to dance it out. The other a two legged pal much less licky, but always ready to help me take the next step. Even if it means going 1300 miles out of her way. I'm already crying, people. This is going to be a hard week, but next week is going to be awesome. Stay tuned! PS. I had to order a stethoscope for school, and amazon had an AWESOME purple one that I loved. My darling hubs convinced me that there is a time to stand out and a time to just order the damned black one. I am so getting the purple one when I graduate.